Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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