You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just google imaged poop.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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