he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
