With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
