I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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