Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
