It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
