I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
