pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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