listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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