I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
