Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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