hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
