i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize