just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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