my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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