I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
