I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
