census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
one might say we're banned from that church
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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