it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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