I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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