my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
