it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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