It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
