And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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