Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
