Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
