If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
