How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
