hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
