I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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