Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Send help, water and tortillas.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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