I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
