my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
