all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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