you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
