Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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