Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
