I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
