Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
