We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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