Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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