i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
NoShamevember. You game?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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