Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
