you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
