HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
