i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
