dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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