Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
