not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
