You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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