Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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