I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
