"it" just moved
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My life is pants optional.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
