Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
