Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
