paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
