The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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