i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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