Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
