Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just want nice things and good sex
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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