Can Purell be used as lube?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
