Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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