I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
