It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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