69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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