His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
